Jana Sneller got me in college. She just … she got me. She cracked me up, she treated me kindly, she knew me and she remembered me. For my 21st birthday, she showed me what it means to be known.

Early in the day, after giving me strict instructions to ‘look nice,’ she picked me up. As you see in the accompanying photo, I had a really awesome hat on, because I always obeyed Jana and I thought the hat was adorable. She parked me in the passenger seat of her crappy, beloved car and started driving. Telling me absolutely nothing about her plans, we whiled away the hours in the car, gossiping and laughing.

When we arrived, it was to the wonderful city of Austin, her hometown and a town I’ve always loved but spent didn’t know well. Our first stop, she took me to the famous Mount Bonnell in downtown Austin and got me out of the car. We walked up the lovely path, until at the top, revealed by fog I SWEAR I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP — there was fog in Texas! — was Jana’s wonderful dad, Dave, and her two youngest brothers, Matt and Jeff (all pictured). They were there holding signs that said, “Happy birthday, Elizabeth!” with their new puppy. It felt … astonishing. That someone else’s family would love me enough to stand on a mountaintop with signs to celebrate my birthday. To wait for me on a mountaintop with signs — this was before cell phones!

The day had just begun. Jana next took me to Book People, a famous bookstore in Austin, and said I was permitted to look at books AS LONG AS I WANTED TO. Jana was … not a reader (I mean, she knew HOW to read, but … she preferred to work out). She sat in a chair and patiently waited as I examined poetry, fiction and more books that I could find in College Station for what seemed like hours. I don’t even remember what I bought — just the feeling, again, that someone who didn’t HAVE to love me by blood would choose to treat me so well.

And then we went to West Lynn cafe. I was a vegetarian at the time, and it was the finest vegetarian restaurant in Austin. She had made reservations, and we were there right on time. I remember I ordered enchiladas. I remember Jana insisted that we drink a glass of wine — I was turning 21, after all! — and I begged off, saying I hated wine. Jana was unmoved, and ordered them to bring us a glass of the sweetest wine they had, “so it tastes like apple juice,” I said. They complied, bringing us a sugary sweet Gewurztraminer.

I don’t remember the conversation–I’m sure it was similar to all of our conversations, since we were only friends while we were young and enthusiastic. Boyfriends, mutual friends, other people we knew, professors, and our future careers probably took up some of the time, and teasing each other and laughing at silly stories we knew or made up took up more.

Jana had an early class the next day, I think — while I stayed at her parents’ house other times, I think that night we drove back to College Station. I don’t remember the drive to Austin, but in my memory the drive back late at night, talking over the day with Jana, was a fizzy, delicious delight.

We grew apart, and haven’t talked in decades. I think of her often, but never more so than on my birthday, when I remember how precisely she knew me, and how amazing it felt to be known.