I actually knew Lynn Zynda for just over three years, but I’ve tried to live up to what I admired about her every year since. Lynn and her high school sweetheart, Dexter, were married and lived in a big, rambling, UNAIRCONDITIONED house right near Texas A&M. Lynn was the archivist at the Texas A&M Acquisitions and Gifts Department, where I worked every semester I was at Texas A&M. In my first memory of her, she had a hard-charging new boss who had called her at home the night before. Lynn, politely and very firmly, clarified for Suzanne (the new boss) that she worked very hard at work, and then left work, and she did not expect to be called. 

At the famous (in my mind) birthday party

I was really impressed by her boundaries, and resolved to get to know her better. Carol McGinty, my dearest library friend, was also Lynn’s friend, so she helped me. The more I knew, the more I loved. Lynn had three young children by the time I graduated, Henry, Ann and Mary. The children were dressed as close to unisex as humanly possible–lots of denim and white onesies, a theme I tried to recreate with my children. Lynn showed me the amazing (still in the package!) finds to be had at Goodwill. She loved time with her family, and gradually let me in — I was welcomed into their home, and a highlight for me in college was attending her children’s birthday parties. 

Ann, their middle daughter, was adored and beloved, and — a bit mysterious. She LOVED dresses (and they were scarce in their household—Lynn had no idea how Ann became so enamored of them, but she was. Then, for her birthday (3 or 4, I can’t remember), Ann came up with a request: Shark Barbie [it was in the Baywatch heyday, and it was actually Baywatch Barbie with a dolphin, but Ann called it what she called it]. Lynn was fiercely opposed to Barbies, and fiercely in love with Ann. The two sides of her warred, and she brought it up at the office. Carol and I were resolved: We’d buy Ann shark Barbie! I think Lynn was relieved, and a bit horrified. 

In addition to buying the despised/beloved Barbie, Carol (who had by then also become my roommate) and I went to one of those ‘we only carry smart toys’ children’s store and bought all manner of sharks made to teach children about the ocean. We went to the party, and as usual, Dexter and Lynn had created a welcoming, warm space. There was a lovely dinner, cake, and lots of muddy playing in the backyard. Another mutual friend, Florencia, was there, and as Lynn and Dexter took care of their three children, mingled with their guests, and reveled in the joys of the life they had chosen and so specifically created (‘do not call me at home. ever.’), I aimed to create something like that of my own, with or without shark Barbie.

Now, 20 years later, I have my own Henry, Ann and Mary (our models are named Oliver, Allyson and Eleanor) and they dress themselves however they prefer, just like Lynn’s kids. We’ve so far dodged the Barbie bullet, but when it comes, I know I’ll buy one with a smile, remembering Lynn’s Ann and her shark Barbie.