So Eve Koopmann and I had a third twin (it’s complicated) in elementary school, Carol Hoffman. Actually, she was more our leader than our twin. Eve and I were both shockingly tall, remarkably early, and gangly. Carol was strong, athletic, and short. She was also a natural leader, with a willingness to organize and a strong, powerful voice.

Two memories that I’m thankful for: After Carol’s mom, Nancy, and my dad decided to get married, and we were yet blissfully unaware of the many complicated years that decision would create, we gleefully marched to our shared. We sat in a circle, as 1st and second graders did at Dodson Montessori school, and went around the room with news as we did every day. The time came for Carol to speak. She looked at me. We both burst out at the same time: We’re going to be SISTERS! For that glorious day, and perhaps a few others, we were the envy of the whole class. Friends, and now sisters: Who knew what could happen next!

A few years later. We’re well established now, and Carol and Eve’s neighborhood (oh I was so envious — not only did many of our school friends live there — right next to school! — but now my dad lived there, too!) was the nexus of after school ‘fun.’ I put fun in quotes because we are all right in the thrall of boy-girl love tension, as only 10 and 11 year olds can do, and we played that out by … fighting. We each had our boyfriends and wish-we-could-have boyfriends (Jon-Paul Estrada, Eliot, and I forget Carol’s man-of-the-hour), and we would meet on the corner of Harvest and Fiesta Streets after the school bus dropped us off.

It was a fight to the … I don’t know what, but it was a ferocious fight. And Carol was our leader. She would tell me and Eve (and the others gathered) what to do, and we would set out with clear instructions for our love/enemy. I usually wimped out before any blood got shed, but I remember one day with startling clarity — Eve being actually swung around by her long, glorious brown hair, and Carol jumping in with ferocity to stop the carnage and claim a win for the girls.

I’m not sure we won (I’m still amazed we survived relatively unharmed) but I remember envying and admiring Carol’s fearlessness and bravery in defending Eve.

Me, Eve and Carol with baby Maggie in Palestine, Texas.

The baby in this pic, Carol’s first, is now older than we were in those neighborhood fights, and I know Carol has fought for her, her three other children, and her life in Palestine, Texas as hard as she ever fought in elementary school. She leads me still. Thanks for your strength and your courage, sister.