In one of those “small world” coincidences that happen to all of us if we live long enough, Barb Jeffries and I worked at the same company when I lived in Houston and she lived in Baltimore — then, I moved to Baltimore for a completely unrelated job and we became real life friends.

I was a secretary (“executive assistant”) at my first job out of college — a dental insurance company — and she was in finance at our headquarters. Somehow, between scheduling meetings between my boss and her, we started joking around and became tentative friends. This was back in the day of FAXES, and one of her faxes will always be the favorite one I’ve ever received. I wish I had taken a picture of it!

It was a drawing of Elvis, sketched onto our letterhead, and it said: “Elvis: As we celebrate his life, and mourn his death.” I don’t remember if it was Elvis’ birthday or death anniversary, but I know I was delighted to receive such an irreverent and awesome fax with a regular work attachment on it.

When I moved to Baltimore for my first association communications job a few months later, I reached out to her to see if we could get together. My personal schedule was, as I recall, WIDE OPEN, and hers was quite busy. We set something for MONTHS in the future, and I set about counting the days. I was sure we were going to be BOSOM BUDDIES and BEST FRIENDS.

When we finally met, at a mediterranean food restaurant where I pretended to have actually tried feta, olives and other exotic foods in my life, I tried desperately to impress her. I think I came across as more ‘desperate’ than ‘impressive,’ but something spoke to Barb, and she and I did gradually develop a great friendship.

Barb (clown), me (sailor), Mary (witch) way back in the 90s …

I helped her move into the house she still lives in; she taught me how to celebrate Halloween as an adult; she threw me and my first partner a great surprise wedding shower (with several co-hostesses); we volunteered together and then she and I became two of the five members of the monthly dinner group I’ve written about before. We even painted trim together — ugh, a job I would only do with a DEAR friend.

Barb’s humor and kindness, her stalwart support and willingness to say: “what are you DOING?” when she thinks I’ve gone astray, have been wonderful to me all these years. It was wonderful to be with her at her recent wedding, and to celebrate all of our life’s milestones together over the past almost 20 years.

To Elvis, and to Barb. I’m glad I know you, and thank you for all the wonderful love and silliness you’ve shown me over the years.