Month: April 2025

Limping Along

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It was … a weekend. Saturday Allyson competed in (and won! and placed 2nd!) a regatta; I helped co-host a babyshower that Eleanor babysat the littles at; I went to a memorial service for a beloved member of my job’s community; I picked up Jamie in DC and Pam in Baltimore and then we drove to PA for Sunday’s race. I was supposed to run the marathon with Pam, but … no. So Jamie and I walked the 7 miles and then waited for Pam. As we were expecting her (the 5 hour mark) I walked back to find her, found her, and ran with her like a quarter of a mile. She had found someone to run with — from the first mile (!) — another person named Elizabeth. So they were exhausted but in great spirits and still running. It was amazing.

I was so sad that I couldn’t do the marathon, so proud of her time, so exhausted when I finally got home after dropping Pam and Jamie off — and then Oliver needed help with 1,000,000 awesome things to prepare for college. He NEVER asks for my help, so we worked until 11:30. We’ll review it tonight.

I want to swear to do this actual marathon next year (Pam said I inadvertently found “the easiest marathon in the United States (!!).” But my overuse meant I could literally barely lift my left foot. Plantar fasciitis doesn’t prevent me from running/walking but my goodness — when I overuse it (which I hadn’t before) — the agony! Even in the middle of the night last night I could barely walk to the bathroom — but this morning was fine. I mean, a 3 out of 10 on the pain scale, like it usually is in the morning, not nearly a 10 out of 10 like it was last night!

Anyway — I hope to get back to marathoning. And I am working this Friday and Saturday until 7 p.m., and I am just yearning for a weekend off …

Obvious and Quick

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Speaking of quick thinking; I also arrive at conclusions very quickly. I prioritize not ‘wasting time’ and that often means that what other people spend a lot of time on … I just decide. They talk about shampoo paralysis and that is REAL — I struggle the most with where to eat. But shampoo — the aisle of CHOICES! So, I tend to choose quickly, and if I like it, I tend to stick with it.

For food this gets complicated. I have 10 (5) meals that I like, and I trust, and I know what is in them, and I can just eat them easily. Likewise I have 10 (5) restaurants that I like, and trust, and I know what I eat there, and I know it is good. But — people want to try new things! People (my family) don’t find as much comfort in the sameness that I do. People want CHOICES. And I just — don’t. It takes sooo long. And some are — not yummy! Sure, some are, but — some aren’t! Is it worth it?

At work too, I hire based on ‘gut’ so often and no matter how many times I am proven wrong, I still trust my gut instinct. I think more than believing I am all seeing and all knowing, I deeply doubt that spending MORE time and MORE effort will produce a more reliable result. I have worked with super methodical people — and they make hiring mistakes, too. And even the hiring mistakes — they thought they wanted a job, or thought they could figure it out, and it wasn’t the way the person who hired them wanted it to be done — I dunno. I think this is why I tend to work in smaller places — I find the more processes and the more systems — the more time is spent/wasted and not necessarily to better results.

I think if I slow down then I will lose time for myself; time to read, to snuggle my children; to go on bike rides — but I also (post for another day) end up reading all the time and doing less of anything else. Just hiding out and reading books …

Anyway, but the rest of the time I’m doing it quickly!

Successful Meetings, of a sort

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  1. I am a very quick thinker. I’m not bragging — it is my biggest weakness as well as strength — I just don’t have a slow/thoughtful button. And so strategic plans can bedevil me, in that their entire existence is on a slow, thoughtful analysis of what an organization is doing well, doing poorly, and what can be done better.
  2. Yes, it’s time for my organization’s strategic plan. Several board/staff who were here for the last one five years ago have chosen NOT IT because it … didn’t go well last time. I struggle with the plan itself, and the concept, but I love the way it CAN, ideally, bring board and staff together — united — that is the real win for strategic plans in my book.
  3. So, we had our first retreat yesterday. And I thought it went well! As these things go, it was big and a bit messy, but we winnowed it down. And then — not anymore. The winnowing turned into a little … discussion … I assumed these things always went this way, and asked the consultant, who said NO — THESE DO NOT. So, we were a bit of an argumentative group. I like argumentative groups!
  4. So we voted – again – and got, wait for it, the same results. Exactly. So, at least we all know what we want! I was a bit fussy about the result, but overall was so glad we made it, and made it together, and even talked through the hard parts.

Long way to go until it is done (September!) but excited to be on track …

Marathon Attempt Ends Prematurely …

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I had so much fun (I really at least was surprised that I finished and was pretty strong up to mile 23) at my first marathon in December, 2023 that I signed up for another one, this time with friends. I started the training in December 2024, and things were going along fine. It was actually even fun to train “with” friends — we would just email each other — but it felt like we were working together!

Then, I had … an accident. A #2 one. But I was AT the toilet at home, or ALMOST, and so I kind of let it go — long run, almost made it, it’s fine. I had eaten grapes, which can cause my tummy trouble.

THEN, I had … another accident. A #2 one. In Houston, near my dad’s house, on a busy street, so … it just went down my leg. Allllll the way down. Terrible feeling, terrible two blocks to his house, terrible it was only 6 miles run … but I had eaten dad’s food, which isn’t my own, and I was stressed about the lawsuit I was in Houston for, so … I kept going.

Half marathon? Done. 15 mile run? Well, I finished 12, but didn’t stop because I had an accident — I just got too tired to continue. I was doing the other runs every week, keeping up, doing fine!

Then it was the day of the 18 mile run – I was determined to finish strong! I chose a new path — I HATE the boredom of paths I know too well, so I was really excited to be in my neighborhood/area but on a totally new-to-me-running street. I stopped to go to the bathroom! I stopped to buy water! I saw a friend and thought about stopping to say hello but texted her later instead. It was AWESOME. I was at mile 12 or so .. oh, I needed to go to the bathroom. Oh, there was a McDonald’s right there — perfect!

Nope. You know the ending — busy street, next to McDonalds, ALLLLLLL down my legs. I had to call my husband to pick me up then slide into his backset on my stomach so I wouldn’t … mar the car. It was genuinely disgusting and totally discouraging. I called my friends and told the marathon runner I just … couldn’t keep doing this (what would I actually do if this happened during the marathon?!). I called the 7 miler and she said we could just walk it together — an excellent idea! A friend suggested diapers but OH the chafing — and still, what would I do with a full diaper in the middle of a marathon?!

So, it’s this coming weekend. I have dreams that I will just start running and finish my second marathon! But in reality, I will walk 7 miles and be happy to support my awesome friend doing her first marathon. I went to the doctor and there is no problem — just — bodies sometimes do this.

Sad. But okay!

Me on my triumphant marathon day.
I walked the last 3 miles but I finished!! Just at 6 hours!

Money Maintenance

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My husband and I now have three teenagers, and my goodness. Each day costs, roughly, $1,000,000. Crew signups (two kids row); play tickets; broadway musical (!); trips to see friends (who live far away now); meals (I guess they need to EAT?!); and so much more.

In my memory, I asked for, and was given, less. But I bet in my parents’ memory (well, my dad’s, my mom is sadly pretty far gone with Alzheimers) (she chipped her tooth yesterday and there is NO WAY for me to figure out what happened/how) I was spoiled rotten. Maybe all parents think their children are spoiled. I don’t think they are spoiled, my three, I just really struggle to say no. I want to say yes all the time, to all things, so they will know how loved they are.

Which is really horrible, right? Money = love in my book, and so I don’t want to say no, but also cannot always say yes, but — always say yes to love. I have used money as punishment (if you don’t do X or Y or Z you will lose your allowance!) and as bribe (I’ll give you $ if you do X or Y or Z) and as so many stand ins for me over the years …

Goodness, I started this to talk about how hard money is these days, but I have quickly uncovered how hard I make money — represent many, many things that money is not.

Anyway. We’re fine. Kids have a lot. Figuring life out continues to be a huge struggle!