Well, it’s that time — time for me to step out and back from leading in my children’s lives, aka college application time. Guess what? It’s making me INSANE. There are two college who took my child for a ‘Official Visit’ for his chosen (and beloved) sport. One said they liked him but would not offer him a guaranteed spot. The other said they would offer a guaranteed spot. He likes the one … who would not. The other one is ‘just like my [hyper competitive] high school, MOM.’

So what to do! He thinks you can only apply to one, because the coaches want to be your TOP choice. I think, and the other mom that knows this stuff (better than I do) agrees, that you have to AT LEAST apply for three because NONE OF THESE SCHOOLS are guarantees — he’s not in the top of the top where they kind of circumvent the process to let you in. The RECOMMEND you get in, but you have to add grades, and scores, and all of that crap, to it.

Mainly, of course, I’m trying to relive/relitigate MY CHILDHOOD decisions, where I applied to ONE fancy school, did NOT get in, and just went to whatever local college my mom chose. I was so heartbroken not to get in. And my son’s scores, grades and sports are TOTALLY different than mine, but when the first school declined to give him a letter WOE it sent me down a spiral to when I was 18 and heartbroken.

That is not his path! That is not the path he is on! And YET! I cannot let go of the obsession.

He will be fine; I know he will be fine, but as we sang when the kids were little, on long car trips, “I don’t want to get there, I just want to be there …”