My older sister turns 46 today, and what a gift she has been in my life. She is present at my earliest memories, and I looked up to her for so many years. I have a few memories, one: She was always shorter than me (well, after I was 6 and she was 8), but different in so many other ways. She’s more outgoing than I am, friendlier, a better singer (by a factor of 1000000) and stronger than I am, too. And for years, I thought — “when I get to be her age, I’ll finally be *just* like her. And I have this clear memory of standing in her bedroom in our apartment, she must have been turning 15 and I was about to turn 13, and I realized: “I will never, never be like her. I can try, and try, but I will just have to deal with being me.” I know it sounds silly, but I lamented that so sadly — I always wanted to grow up to be just like her.

One year ago today, Jason and I and the kids landed back in Arlington, Va., our adopted home, and started looking for work/school/home/life. Today, or a month ago, really, Jennei moved back to her adopted home, Atlanta, and is starting to look for her job/home/life. I admire her so much and love her so much and am so grateful for her in my life.

Anna, the fourth sister in this photo (from left: me, Carol, Jennei, Anna), came to visit last summer during a time that was complicated for all of us. I kept introducing her as my stepsister, and she finally looked at me and said, “It’s been 35 years. Aren’t I your sister?” and it was just so true. It’s been a long, hard, and sometimes dark road for all four of us to end up where we are: loving and loved in and by each other.

I hope my children someday have each other the way these amazing three have my back. No one knows my journey the way Jennei, Carol and Anna do — and I can’t wait to see where the next 46 years take us.

(pictured at my dad’s retirement party at the farm house where he was raised with the 1946 Hudson he’s been having rebuilt since before I was born in the background — he is only the SECOND owner of that car!!!)