My daughter is having a struggle changing from an elementary school and middle school where she was ensconced in a group of close friends for the last 7 years. Now the friends have all scattered to different high schools (the program ends at 8th grade) and she only has 2 friends in her class of 500 people. I keep telling her it will get better, but … that’s easy to say, hard to live.

When I had my own transition to high school, my super mean mom made me join the drill team, which I hated. But, with the perspective of 30 years, that … gave me so many friends, I stayed in all four years, I had a place I ‘belonged’ and — most importantly — I had people who knew my name on my first day. I didn’t make her do any thing in advance of school, and so, school is really tough. Kids that have gone together since kindergarten; and even though someone who moved there in 9th grade from another state told us to really make friends the first few weeks — that is hard to do. They went to a football game on Friday but didn’t know they were supposed to wear theme colors, etc. etc.

So, she likes to play chess. She’s almost as strong a player as my youngest child, and no where near as strong as my oldest, but boy is she better than me. But I’m trying! And learning! And realizing if I put the queen right in the path of a rook that is a … rookie move. She keeps telling me I’m doing better. And I am glad to be doing slightly better than the time she beat me in 4 moves, but I’m mostly glad to be telling her 1. I’m here for her. 2. I’ve got her. 3. Anything she needs, I can give her whatever she wants. And the way I tell her that — is we play a lot of chess. One time I tied her, and someday maybe I’ll even win. But my real goal is for her to find her home in high school and thrive there.